Well… all of a sudden, on our way home this evening, Hubby asked Little Wawa, “Wa nak adik tak?” and she said, “Nak”. The question keep lingering inside my brain for about 5 minutes before I realized that I don’t think that’s a good idea, well for now perhaps. Then I blurted out something like, “Kalau tak nak, boleh tak?” Hubby was making a shock and confuse face at me, but says nothing.
I got my own reason; it is not the pregnancy that makes me said that. I love being pregnant, it was the most beautiful agonizing moments for me. Yes, I have to see my doctor twice of normal pregnancy mothers, I have to ‘donate’ my blood every weeks, sometimes two or three times a week, I have 3 doctors monitoring my pregnancy, and yes, my ‘buku merah’ was so thick with lab report that I have to put it inside a file to prevent it from coming apart. And another yes, both my babies are premature, that makes the next baby in highly risk of being premature.
But now I just realized that I am not a very ‘good’ mother. I can take them into the world but I am not very good at raising them. To raise a boy and a girl with only one and a half year gap in between was really tiring. And I am not doing the job alone. I have my mother, my husband and the nanny at TASKA to help me all day. A few days ago I make a comment to my Facebook friend, Sally, congrats her on being so proud to hold the Home Manager title, something that I don’t think I can do.
I can’t cook (well actually I can, but prefers not to because Hubby is way a better cook than me), I am so lazy, I hate folding my laundry (we have a corner of unfolded laundry with three big basket, each full of my clothes, the other ones my Hubby’s and the last one for everything else), I hate washing dishes, I seldom sweep floor, let alone mopping it.
And to makes things worse, I easily get angry over silly things. The victim? My kids. So, my decision for this moments, no more baby for the next 3 years or more, well not now, that's for sure!. I have one and a half year with my IUCD.
well, my friends, what say you?
4 comments:
elokler tu... reason ko amat musabah bagi pendapat aku... concentrate la ngan 2 org tu dulu.. org laki ni kekadang tak paham..mmg fenat..memerlukan komitmen yg sgt tinggi..beban kejer kt opis pon tak seberat kt umah.. tapi, tu la pompuan still can manage, dan biasala kekadang tu cekelat skit dari duty roster dia..tapi manusia mana ada yg perfect.. aku kekadang bila dah ras apenat sangat menguruskan rumahtangga aku beri sedikit ruang kemalasan kt diri aku..biarla kain baju melunggun, biarlah rumah berselerak ngan mainan anak, biarlah dapur berselerakan, biarlah tempat tido diporakperandakan dek anak..biarkan...kita bukannyer robot..manusia lengkap dijadikan dgn nafsu dan hanya insan yg bernama nabi Muhammad s.a.w yg sempurna..jadi takpelah tak jadi a perfect umi...jadilah iri kita seadanyer...panjangnyer comment..
Jay, i really understand your point of view. Cz i thot the same thing!!!!! Dont u ever ever asked for more! Hahhahahaah kejam tak?
Tapi true sgt true its not easy. Dulu org kata beranak je sekali t dah besar senang. Tapi dah ada dua ni baru ada akal! Penat toksah ckp, kadang tuk diri sendiri pun takde masa. takde maid mmg mencabar tapi itu bukan solution, the best thing is devide kerja rumah. Cam aku kami laki bini ada dept memasing. Like i cook he wash! I did laundry he fold! Aku basuh berak adik dia barsuh berak abg! Ngeh3.........
Al the best ye... tapi kalau ada rezeki jgn tolak itu maknanya Tuhan tau yg kita mampu!
tunggu ler hud ngan wawa besor sikit.. tu jek komen aku.
Hahaha...kok jay, aok takut kembang dak mengkala namboh se lagi? hahahah... kim salam kat along:)
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